


all the things that we dream about (they don't mean what they did before)

by screaminghalfpastmidnight



Category: One Tree Hill
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Naley-centric, Season/Series 02, Season/Series 03, basically an alt take on the haley/chris/nathan/tour, but she is for cheating, finding their way back, haley isnt tortured for following her dream, i actually gave chris keller character, kind of, nathan scott i love you so much, the taylor/nathan thing is addressed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:06:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26355433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screaminghalfpastmidnight/pseuds/screaminghalfpastmidnight
Summary: It’s the early hours of the morning when he’s lying on the floor of her hotel room, singing a melody over and over and she’s half paying attention to the muted Golden Girls rerun on the TV, that he apologizes ever so softly, surprising her. She rolls over on the bed so that her face is now at the end of it and frowns at him. “What?”He shakes his head, looking a little embarrassed. “Look, I’m not gonna apologize for inviting you on the tour because I think the last few weeks have proved that you belong here, but if it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t be fighting with Nathan and you wouldn’t be so… sad all the time.”ORan alternate take on the season2/3 tour plotline where chris keller has character, haley isn't persecuted for following her dream (tho she is for kissing chris), she doesnt bend over backwards for nathan and let him treat her like dirt - but instead, they find their way back to each other and actually talk about the situation.also that kind of sounded like i think nathan was totally in the wrong but he wasn't and he is my 100% favourite character on this show so don't worry. no nathan-bashing, just no terrible haley-isnt-allowed-to-have-her-dream BS.
Relationships: Haley James Scott/Nathan Scott, mentions of other relationships - Relationship
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	1. a figment of my worst intentions

**Author's Note:**

> Work title from "More" by 5 Seconds of Summer  
> Chapter title from "Betty" by Taylor Swift
> 
> OK SO! this s2/s3 plotline really irks me personally. i just don't like how haley was made out to be some super-villain who had to like. "win" back nate's heart when they both made mistakes in the situation. anyways in this fic, nathan still gave the ultimatum but like. no one's mad w the decision she made and he recognizes that that was stupid. he's just angry about the chris situation which is valid. also i changed it so that haley like. keeps in touch with everyone back home and like constantly checks in on peyton because i dont have the energy to write peyton angry at her and like. idk i dont think its accurate that haley would just shut everyone out but thats just me :)
> 
> also i am really trying to make chris a character and not have him just be here to like. screw people over. like hes still a person and when luke visited hales he made a reference to chris and haley acting like he and haley used to and i think thats an interesting dynamic. so anyway chris is kind of a jerk but also like. there's more to him than that.
> 
> anyway, enjoy :)

She hates that she misses him.

She wants to be angry - no, she _is_ angry, but she misses him so much that she gets a terrible chill up her spine when she thinks of the last time she saw him.

She's made mistakes. She knows that. She’s not the only one hurting.

But he practically shoved her out the door. The second it got hard, he told her to leave. No, he told her to _choose_ and that’s inherently worse.

She’s always been the responsible one. She’s a bit of a pushover and she stays in her lane, never branches out, never changes it up. The most risky thing she’d done before marrying Nathan was lie to Lucas about ‘tutoring’ him. 

She’s dreamed of turning music into a career since she was a little girl but it’d always been more of a pipedream. She didn’t even know if she was _good_ let alone if she could make it big.

Chris thinks she can.

Michelle _fucking_ Branch thinks she can.

Apparently Nathan doesn’t. Or at least doesn’t want her to.

She’s so unbelievably angry with him. Angry that he gets to have his dreams and she’s supposed to sit at home like a stepford wife. Angry that he was so quick to just _give up_ and _end_ them. Angry because he’s always been the one who understands her; who knows her quirks and the way she thinks and why she reacts to things the way she does, but somehow, he just can’t figure out why she has to do this. 

He doesn’t call her.

She waits for him to, but he doesn’t.

She should be having the time of her life. The tour is everything she dreamed it would be and more; screaming fans, food fights at soundcheck, after parties with musicians that are on her elevator list. Not that any of that matters - all she can think about is her nowhere-to-be-seen husband. So now, she’s pissed that she got her dream and she can’t even enjoy it.

The first week has some of her highest highs and her lowest lows. Chris has to drag her out of bed numerous times so he can distract her from her pain and while she’s grateful for the effort, even getting wasted can’t make her forget.

She calls Peyton and texts Brooke and Luke. She’s sure Luke will call her eventually but she doesn’t have the emotional stability to explain any of this to him because she knows he’ll ask. 

When he does, he makes her out to be some sort of villain and if she wasn’t so tired, she’d get into it with him. “Did he even tell you what happened?” She asks, and gets her answer when he sighs on the other end. “He said that if i went on tour, we were done. And yeah, you know what? Maybe regular wives stay behind and work it out but I don’t think that regular husbands end a marriage over their wife achieving their dream.”

Lucas shuts up after that.

As far as she can tell, her husband is doing no better than she is.

Three weeks later, he still doesn’t call.

So she does.

He answers with, _“Surprised you have time for me, rockstar. I thought you’d be too busy kissing Chris.”_ and all of the thoughts that went through her head while she was trying to convince herself to call ( _he’s your husband, you love him, he loves you, he probably just doesn’t know what to say)_ fly out the window.

She scoffs, tears springing to her eyes and she _hates_ this. “Seriously, Nathan? I call to try and figure us out and you answer like that? God, you’re an asshole.”

Her voice breaks on the last word and she _knows_ he heard it so she just hangs up, less than eager to spend a half hour on the phone crying. She’s not gonna be weak about this. As much as this is partly her fault as well as his, she deserves the chance to make music a full time career for herself and she deserves to enjoy that, not beg her own husband for a conversation. 

He calls her back when she’s in bed that night and it lasts less than a minute because she realizes he’s drunk and the least coherent she’s ever heard him be. 

He doesn’t call her the next morning and she’s kind of glad.

She spends the next few weeks focusing on the music. She writes and she writes and she writes. About heartbreak and the passage of time and being totally free yet somehow still feeling trapped. She hates to admit it but dancing around on stage with Chris and the band feels like it was what she was made to do. She's fallen asleep on more sofas than she can count and most nights she drags Chris back to his hotel room because he’s too shitfaced to stand, but even so, she sort of loves it. It can be scary at times but it’s the good kind; it makes her heart race and her lips spread too wide and she literally _skips_ around her dressing room. 

They get a live tv interview.

It’s the biggest thing to happen to them yet and she knows it’ll get traction and record execs will see it and consider her. It’s really freaking big. 

She tells just about everyone she cares about. She calls her parents and her sisters and Luke and Peyton who tells Brooke. She calls Karen and Keith and he tells her that he _met someone_ and she sort of reminds him of her and that they’ll _both_ be watching and it makes her heart soar.

She calls him last. She’s not sure if she should but not too long ago, he was the guy she shared everything (and she means _everything)_ with and she wants him to know about this really great thing that’s happening for her, no matter how bad things are between them right now.

He’s snappy at the beginning but she does her best to not snap back and just tells him what she needs to say. He doesn’t tell her he’ll watch it but there’s a twinge of what she thinks is pride in his tone and so a flicker of hope forms in her heart that maybe he will.

They tell her to take off her wedding ring. She tells Joey D. to fuck off.

Chris makes some joke that insinuates they’re together that really pisses her off and she immediately debukes it, telling the reporter that she’s married and showing her ring. Her management is pissed and tells her that she’ll have moved down on the labels’ potential clients list, but a small, sick part of her thinks that if Nathan and her can’t work this out, a messy divorce is a hell of a lot better for the tabloids than a messy breakup. She doesn’t say that, though.

She also doesn’t believe it.

She rips Chris a new one in the hotel room and he promises to stop being a dick and while she doesn’t think he’ll keep that one, she also has come to realize that it’s in his nature to fuck people over and while that doesn’t excuse it, she knows there’s a lot more to this guy than he lets on

Nathan calls her that night while she’s at a party and she steps outside onto the penthouse balcony so she can hear him better, pulling her leather jacket over her shoulders and desperately wishing she wore more than a spaghetti strap underneath.

He says, _“So I watched the interview. Seems like the world really likes you.”_

She mumbles, “I hope so.” and takes a breath of relief at the somewhat relaxed tone of his voice. It gets a little awkward after that so she swings her foot in front of her as he clears his throat before asking her if she knew Keith was getting married. “Yeah. I was going to come back for the wedding but he said he and Jules are gonna come see a show right before their honeymoon.”

He hums, and there’s another pause before she asks him how he’s doing. He laughs a little, as if that’s an ironic question and says, _“I got suspended.”_ She can’t help the disappointed tone in her voice when she says his name. _“It’s my fault. I was a dick. How are you?”_

She nods and then remembers he can’t see her. “I’m alright, I guess.”

_“Great.”_ He huffs on the other end and she can hear the coldness return to his voice. _“You leave to go on tour and you don’t even like it that much.”_

“No, it’s-“ She jumps in quickly, desperate to keep their steady pace going. “It’s not like that. it’s complicated.”

_“What is? If the tour’s so bad, I guess you really did go for Chris.”_ He snaps.

“What the hell are you talking about? You’re the one that walked out on me. You basically ended our marriage over one fight and then you didn’t call me for weeks!”

_“You’re the one that left, Haley! It was a simple decision. I chose you over High Flyers and you couldn’t do the same for me!”_

She places a hand on her forehead and tilts her face up, trying to hold back the tears welling up in her eyes. She has to stand her ground on this. “But I didn't ask you to do that, Nathan. I would never and yet, you thought you could do the same to me. There never should’ve been a choice! I don’t understand why it had to be you or the tour.”

_“Because you went off with an asshole that you kissed, that’s why!”_

She takes a deep breath and leans against the wall of the building to steady herself, trying her best to keep her voice calm and unwavering when she speaks again. “I understand that it must be hard for you to trust me when I say this isn’t about Chris, but the problem is that you basically ended our marriage in the blink of an eye. We could’ve figured it out but you were _so_ ready to just be done! Do you honestly think that if I had stayed, I wouldn't have just resented you for making me give it up? I would've just sat at home, wondering if I'd missed my big shot. You know that’s true.”

_“I know!”_ He yells. _“But you cheated on me, Haley! You kissed another guy and then told me you wanted to go on tour with him. What was I supposed to do?”_

“And that was a mistake, Nathan. I’m sorry. It didn’t mean anything to me and I know that the timing was awful and if the tour hadn’t have started right away we could’ve talked about it, but we couldn’t. I'm sorry, I really am.”

She hears him sigh on the other side and he remains silent for a moment as she just taps her nails against the railing of the balcony. Eventually, he speaks, tone soft and tired. _“Look, it’s really hard to figure this out when we’re not even in the same state so I don’t really know what to do.”_

“Yeah, neither do I.” She says, before whispering, “I just wish you were here.” so softly she’s not sure he even heard it. 

_“There’s not long left on your tour. Are you coming back to Tree Hill after?”_

Haley frowns. Why would she not? “Of course.”

_“Okay, so you do your thing, I’ll do mine and then I guess, we’ll figure it out when you get home.”_

It’s not the answer she was hoping for, but they’ve made at least a little bit of progress considering they started the phone call yelling at each other. “Yeah, okay.”

_“Okay.”_

“Nathan.” she says and then hesitates. “I love you.”

He’s silent for a minute and she thinks she’s made a mistake, before he mumbles softly, _“I love you too.”_ and hangs up. She lets her eyes slip shut and holds the phone to her chest for a second, breathing slow. They’re nowhere near close to where they should be, but it was something. She shoves the phone into her jacket pocket and leans over the railing, staring out at the city and half-listening to the muffled Britney song playing from inside. It's not long before the back door swings open and out steps Chris, a red cup in hand. “Don’t worry.” He snorts. “It’s just soda.” He says and hands it to her. She takes a small sip and is pleased to find he was telling the truth, taking another as he mimics her position right beside her.

“You know,” He starts, nudging her arm, “Twenty minutes ago, you were actually having fun in there. Let me guess, Nathan called?”

She laughs a little, watching the soda swirl around in her cup. “It was actually a better conversation than we normally have.”

“Thank god. Maybe now you’ll be able to write a song that _isn’t_ super depressing.” He laughs when she punches him lightly in the shoulder. “Come on, let’s get out of here. Party’s shit, anyway.”

She laughs, turning to look at him. “I thought you were planning on getting wasted.”

He grins at her, swinging an arm over her shoulders and downing the rest of her soda. “Yeah, well. I figure after three nights straight of being my knight in shining armor, you deserve a break.”

It’s the early hours of the morning when he’s lying on the floor of her hotel room, singing a melody over and over and she’s half paying attention to the muted Golden Girls rerun on the TV, that he apologizes ever so softly, surprising her. She rolls over on the bed so that her face is now at the end of it and frowns at him. “What?”

He shakes his head, looking a little embarrassed. “Look, I’m not gonna apologize for inviting you on the tour because I think the last few weeks have proved that you belong here, but if it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t be fighting with Nathan and you wouldn’t be so… _sad_ all the time.”

She’s a little stunned at his words and so she takes a moment before sending him a soft smile and mumbling, “Thanks.” in the most genuine way she can muster. He just looks back down at the notebook he’s writing lyrics down on. She hesitates for a minute before leaning closer to him, saying, “Can I ask you a question?”

He responds with “You just did.” in a disinterested sort of way and she takes that as her cue.

“You’re an asshole most of the time and you seem to like it when you screw things up for people or piss someone off, yet sometimes we have these conversations and it’s like this wall comes down and you’re not as bad as the reputation you want everyone to believe. Why is that?”

He looks up at her for a second, a look in his eyes as if he’s contemplating whether to tell the truth or lie and then finally, sighs. “I’ll save the whole childhood sob story, but I guess the short answer is that I’ve never really been good at the whole friends and family thing. I was pretty much raised on chaos and everyone in my life sort of rotated until I was eventually left with pretty much no one. All I’ve ever had is the music. I guess that makes me some kind of masochist. Everytime I see something good, I destroy it because I don’t know what else to do with it.”

She tilts her head to the side, taking in his words. She thinks the music part is why she feels so connected to Chris. When her house felt too crazy or chaotic as a kid, she always had Billy Joel or Bob Dylan to keep her company. As for the masochist part, she knows a certain someone back home who tends to react to beautiful things with fear and destruction. A few certain someones, actually. She smiles at him, grateful for the in-betweens with him; the moments when she gets to see who he is. She should really put ‘getting guarded people to open up’ as a special talent on her resumé. “Well, you’re not alone anymore. You’re stuck with me.” She says, and means it.

“That’s not true. Tour’s gonna be over in a few months.” She gives him a look as if to say, _and?_ and he just shakes his head, huffing. “There’s not a doubt in my mind that when we go back, you and Nathan won’t get anywhere if we’re still talking.”

Haley lets out a groan, rolling over onto her back so that her head is hanging off the bed right beside him. “I’m not gonna stop being your friend just because my husband says so.” He looks at her as if he’s skeptical and she just rolls her eyes. “When Nate and I first started dating, I started skipping school to hang out with him and my grades took a hit. When he found out about it, he made it this whole thing. He told me he liked me for me and he didn’t want me to change the type of person that I was because of him. So, if Nathan wants me to stop being the type of person that gives people the benefit of the doubt or as many second chances as they need, then maybe he didn’t really know me at all.”

He squints at her for a minute before turning back to his work and muttering, “Alright, I believe you.”

“Good.” She says, before groaning loudly. “Ugh, I am so sick of people thinking I’m nothing more than Nathan’s wife!”

“You don’t have to tell me, Hales. You know how I feel about the guy.”

She points a finger at him in warning. “Watch what you say next very carefully.”

He raises his hands in faux surrender, laughing at her. “Hey, I wasn’t gonna badmouth him. At least, not out loud.” He just laughs even harder when she hits him before falling serious. “You’re a good person, Haley. Sometimes, I think you’re _too_ good.”

It’s not the first time she’s heard that - Lucas and Peyton being some of the most common of her friends to vocalize it - but it’s the first time she’s not sure if she believes it.

The next two days are hectic and busy and her mind has never been in so many places at once so when she runs into her dressing room to find Nathan sitting at her vanity, she almost thinks she’s dreaming. She couldn’t be though, because if she was, he’d be wearing that blue sweatshirt of his that she likes so much. Not that he doesn’t look good now. He does. She didn’t realize she’d missed just _seeing_ him until now. He looks a little awkward when he notices her, turning around as if he didn’t expect to see her there, which she knows he did. “Oh my god, Nathan. What are you doing here?” She asks, pulling her cardigan up over her shoulder, feeling a little caught off guard.

“I wanted to see you. I _needed_ to see you.” His tone is so soft and unsure and so _Nathan_ and she doesn’t realize she’s hurrying into his arms until she’s already there and mumbling “I missed you.” into his neck. She knows she doesn’t have a lot of time until she has to go on stage, but a big part of her thinks she’d skip it all just to spend the night with him. She feels him sigh into her hair, squeezing her tighter and she can’t stop the peaceful smile that spreads across her face. They pull away and she takes a step back, wringing her hands together nervously.

“I’m glad you’re here.” She says and he nods, looking just as nervous as she feels.

“Keith’s wedding was this morning.” He says and she feels her heart swell with joy. Keith deserves to be happy and she’s spoken with Jules on the phone a few times; Keith thought it important that they get to know each other, even while Haley’s a million miles away.

“I guess that means they’ll be here soon too.” She says, frowning when Nathan shakes his head.

“Actually, Jules left him at the altar. My dad paid her to make Keith fall in love with her and then leave him.” Haley’s heart drops into her stomach and she genuinely feels like she might be sick as he continues. “Lucas said that it’s different now and that she really does love him but she must’ve gotten spooked or something. You know how my dad is.”

“I never thought he’d do something like that.” She admits, and it’s true. As fucked up a parent as Dan is, she never thought he could be that cruel.

Nathan nods, looking like he wants to speak but isn’t sure if he should. “Before that, I was just sitting in the pews and thinking about the last wedding I was at, which was ours and… I don’t know. I married you for a reason and it was because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and I still want that, Haley. So, I guess what I’m saying is that I’ll do whatever you want me to do. I’ll stay here with you or I’ll wait at home, I just… I’m not giving up on us or our marriage.”

If he’d said this to her the night she left, or maybe even a week after that, she would’ve pounced on him and kissed his face all over until it was permanently stained with her lip gloss but now, after the harsh words spewed between them and all the problems they still haven’t resolved and the resentment she knows he feels towards her for leaving and especially - oh, _especially_ \- the short amount of time it took for him to just be _okay_ with the two of them being over… now, she doesn’t know. “I don’t really know what to say.”

She hears her name being called and then Chris is jogging into the dressing room saying they need to be on stage until his eyes land on Nathan and his mouth forms an ‘o’. “Uh, shit. I can stall. Not for long, though.”

She’s never been more grateful for Chris than she is in this moment. “Please. I just need like, two minutes.” He nods curtly and she hears him telling someone “You don’t wanna go in there.” just before the door closes behind him. When she turns back around to Nathan, she notices the hard set of his jaw and the distant look in his eyes and she takes a step closer to him. “No, this has never been about Chris. I promise.”

She runs a hand through her hair in frustration as she tries to find the words to make him understand in the short time they have together. “I love you, I do. But there’s still so much we haven’t talked about and things have changed, you know? I’m not who I was when I left and so much has happened and… I don’t know. I don’t think it’s that easy.”

“What are you saying?” He says, his voice so quiet she could barely hear the little break at the end. “You don’t want to be married to me anymore?”

“That’s not it, I-” Joey D. swings the door open, ever-present scowl immediately letting her know what the problem is.

“Why is Chris on stage alone?” He says and Haley turns around, raising her finger.

“One second, I’m coming.” She says before turning to Nathan. “Look, just stay here and then after the show we can talk this out and…” She kisses him on the cheek quickly, whispers “I’m glad you came.” and runs out of the room, ignoring Joey D’s incessant quips about professionalism. 

When she gets off stage, Nathan is gone.

She calls him six times and gets no answer so she just sends him a voicemail and then lies on the sofa in Chris’ hotel room, terrified that there was some sort of family emergency that he had to run away for.

When she does get a call, it’s from Taylor, who tells her that Nathan showed up at the bar she works at, got drunk and tried to sleep with her.

Haley cries herself to sleep for nine days straight.

She didn’t know it was possible to cry so consecutively but she does and it’s so bad that Chris doesn’t even try and drag her out of bed this time.

Nathan keeps calling her. It irks her, so she doesn’t answer. She sends a text to Keith saying she’s thinking about him and one to Peyton when she purposefully ignores her call saying that she’ll talk as soon as she can and then sinks into her sheets, only moving from the tour bus, to the stage, to the hotel and then back again.

When Dan shows up with signed annulment papers after Nathan stops calling, she goes from depressed to furious. She gets wasted that night and pep talks herself into signing them. Her signature ends up being terrible but once it’s done she tucks them back into their folder with her wedding ring and stuffs it in the bottom of her bag. She doesn’t send them.

Chris, rather surprisingly, tries to calm her down when she gets too riled up thinking about it.

It gets easier with time. She focuses on the music and talks to the record execs that come to their shows and hires a manager she really likes and who she feels like knows what she wants and is willing to get it for her. Chris, coincidentally, hires the same one and so it works out quite well.

Aside from the music, she does her best to not lose touch with everyone else back home, although she knows it’d be much easier if she lost herself in her new life here. She consoles Peyton when Jake goes to prison, buys any clothes she thinks Brooke may like and sends them her way, though she doesn’t talk to Luke as much, considering all he wants to do is talk about Nathan and he apparently can’t take a hint.

Right before summer starts, Lucas and Brooke come visit her.

She didn’t expect it to, but it puts things in perspective for her.

She spends most of the few days shopping with Brooke and screwing around with Lucas, talking about anything other than Nathan until eventually, he brings it up. He tells her that Nathan moved back in with Dan and that he’s apparently trying to go to High Flyers. When Haley, yet again, tells him she doesn’t want to talk about Nathan, Lucas groans. “Hales, I don’t understand why the two of you are being so stubborn about this?”

She crosses her arms, standing in front of him, expression cold. “Nathan tried to sleep with Taylor.”

Lucas just sits down on the bed and frowns, confused. “I thought the two of you got over that.”

“I don’t mean three years ago, I mean three weeks ago.” Luke’s face morphs into realization and he scoffs. “Yeah, he came to visit me but I had to go on stage and so I told him to stick around and we’d talk, but when I got back, he was gone. At a bar. With Taylor. And tried to sleep with her to hurt me. So, I’m done talking about Nathan.”

Luke shakes his head, before placing it in his hands, letting out a sigh of disappointment. “Hales, I’m so sorry.”

She gives him a look like ‘You think?’ and makes her way over to her suitcase, pulling out the yellow folder and placing it in his hands. “I need you to give these to him. And don’t you dare give me any shit, ‘cause he already signed them.”

He gives her a sad look and then doesn’t bring it up again.

She cries when they leave. She can’t help it. It feels like the piece of her that was ‘Tutor Girl’ is going with them.

When her manager, Troy, draws up the negotiations to give to the labels, returning to Tree Hill to finish her senior year is one of them. It’s a tough bet; she’s not sure any of the labels will want her _that_ much but Chris thinks it might make it easier if the two of them produce together, so that they can still be writing music during that year and won’t need to be in Los Angeles to do it. If it works out, she might never have to be based out of LA. She likes the idea of being able to have a career in her hometown. Obviously, she’d still have to tour, but it’s nice to know she has options.

She and Chris get signed right in time for the last show of the tour, two weeks before summer ends. The crowd is electric and she finds herself wishing it wasn’t about to end. There’s a party afterwards with everyone who worked on the tour and Michelle Branch buys a plastic crown from the dollar store and places it on Haley’s head and Chris gets a great candid photo of it.

She’s hungover on the flight home and then has to physically stop herself from falling asleep in Lucas’ bed after she drops her stuff off there using her spare key. As far as she knows, Karen’s still in New Zealand with Andy and Keith is still dealing with the Jules fallout, so she heads to the Rivercourt, hoping to find Luke or Skills or Mouth there. Luke is, seemingly struggling while practising, all bent over and sweaty. “Are you okay?” She asks.

“Depends.” He responds, panting. “Are you back for good?”

“I do live here.” She says, hands on her hips. He turns around, raising an eyebrow. “I got signed to a label and they’re letting me finish my senior year and record my album here.”

He grins wide, pulling her in for a hug and she scrunches her nose, getting his sweat all over her chin. She goes to see Peyton next and they end up lying in her bed, talking about everything and Haley makes her promise to come talk to her whenever she needs to. Peyton mentions what happened with Nathan and makes Haley promise the same and then they’re both off to Lucas’ to see Karen and Brooke.

Brooke complains about having to rent a place now that Lucas isn’t living with Dan - which he so conveniently forgot to mention - and Haley offers up her and Chris’ spare room in the house they just got and Brooke accepts enthusiastically. “We’ll probably only need rent for the first few months until the money starts rolling in from the label. We do, however, need to go buy beds. This house came with absolutely nothing.”

She finds out on their much-needed shopping trip that none of them know where Nathan put all of her stuff from the apartment; she’d assumed he’d given it to Karen but apparently not. Mouth and Lucas help Chris move the big stuff and Brooke mostly makes Peyton and Haley do the rest of the work while she plans out how she’s going to decorate their living room and continuously pretends to gag everytime Chris passes by her. Peyton agrees to paint a wall mural for them and Chris asks her if she can do one in his bedroom and Haley’s a little surprised at how (mostly) civil they’ve all kept themselves.

She plans on going to the Scott house that night to ask Nathan where her stuff is but Karen tells her that he’s at High Flyers, which she learned from Deb, and Haley doesn’t really feel like asking Dan where her shit is, so she leaves it, thinking there’s not much important in there anyways. All she really needs are her clothes and toiletries. She’d like to get her picture frames from wherever Nathan’s keeping them but she just frames the one Chris took of her on their final night and a few from throughout the tour and steals one of her and Luke from his house and deems it enough for now.

She spends the first few days in their house sleeping and then reading on their patio. Chris says they should wait until she gets her school workload to start going to the studio so that they don’t start working on something and then lose the ‘spark’ once she gets all stressed out, and she agrees that it’s probably a good plan. Brooke bounces ideas off of her for her end-of-summer-beach-bash and Haley has to physically drag Peyton out of bed to ask her to draw a poster for it that isn’t so… depressing. 

She mostly sticks by Peyton throughout the night, trying to stop her from playing some of her current emo bops and distract her from her misery. Lucas seems to be struggling with the whole ‘non-exclusive’ thing he and Brooke have got going on and so he comes over to hang with them a few times.

Everything’s pretty okay, until Nathan shows up. 

He looks good, and she hates it. She hate’s how that’s the first thing she thinks about when she sees him. (Although, the anger and hurt comes immediately after.)

He looks like he didn’t expect to see her there and so she assumes no one told him she’s back. (And she definitely didn’t because she’s fully prepared to try and get through this year without too many arguments or crying sessions over the guy she loves who broke her heart.)

He walks right over to her, asks if they can talk and she walks away from her friends wordlessly, waiting for him to follow. He starts with, “You didn’t tell me you were back.”

She shakes her head, trying to keep her voice level and monotone. “Why would I?”

“I don’t know, because we have a lot to talk about.” He says, annoyed.

“There was a time for talking, Nathan. But you didn’t want to talk, apparently. Or at least that’s what I got from coming off stage to an empty dressing room.” She turns her gaze away from the ocean and looks right at him, hoping he’ll see how angry and hurt she is in her eyes.

He sighs heavily, tone sharp. “I called you.”

“Yeah and I called you, but you didn’t want to talk then, either. In fact, at the same time I was calling you, you were trying to sleep with my sister.”

His shoulders deflate and he gets the look in his eyes he always gets when he knows he’s hurt her. She’s more than certain she’s the only one who’s ever gotten that look; the only one he’s cared enough about to give it to. He presses his lips together, blinks a few times and then says, “Haley, listen-”

“No, you listen. We’re not together anymore, Nathan. You made that crystal clear. All I need is my stuff back from the apartment. You give me that, I don’t talk to you, you don’t talk to me and we get through senior year without any public blowouts or messy fights.”

He lets out a quick breath, shaking his head. “Haley, that’s not what I want!”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“Look, can we just talk about this?”

“What is there to talk about?”

“Everything!” He yells, before lowering his voice and moving closer to her. “We both agreed that when you came home, we’d figure everything out.”

Haley scoffs, tears welling up in her eyes. “That was before you went to Taylor! You know, I made a lot of mistakes, Nathan. But not once, did I _ever_ purposely try to hurt you. You knew sleeping with Taylor would tear me apart and you did it anyway!”

“I didn’t sleep with Taylor. It never got that far.”

“But that was your intention. You went to her because our conversation didn’t go the way you planned and you wanted to hurt me. And now, I’m supposed to believe that you’ve been waiting for me to come home so that we could talk it out?”

Nathan frowns, gaze dropping to the floor. When he looks back up, his eyes are watery and he evens his tone out. “Haley, I love you. You hurt me a lot when you left, but I _love_ you. I made a mistake with Taylor. I was _scared_ . I was scared of this conversation, the one where we air out all our issues because I knew I pushed you away and then you started saying that you were different and that you weren’t the same person as before and… I ran. I didn’t wanna deal with it and so I ran and then Taylor called but I wasn’t thinking about hurting you, okay? I wasn’t getting off on the idea that you’d be in pain, I wasn’t _thinking_ at all!”

“Yeah, you haven’t been doing a lot of that lately!” A tear slides down her cheek and she wipes it away quickly, looking around to see that thankfully, they were far enough away from the party that no one was paying attention. “Look, we’re not married anymore, okay? All we’ve been doing is hurting each other and I love you, _I do_ , but I’m still in _so_ much pain. It’s like I can’t _breathe_. It happened three months ago and everything that I felt when I found out hasn’t gone away. Maybe we should just call it. We’re not married anyway.”

“What do you mean, we’re not married?” He says angrily, though she can see the guilt in his eyes. 

“Well, you sent off the papers, didn’t you?”

He frowns. “What papers?”

“The annulment papers, Nathan!” She snaps. “The ones that you signed and sent to me through your _dad_!”

He pauses for a second before his face morphs into realization. “You’re saying my dad showed up on tour with annulment papers? And you signed them?”

“So did you!”

“No, I didn’t!” He yells back, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “Haley, I’ve never seen annulment papers in my life!”

She scoffs, shaking her head. Luke must have never given them to Nathan like she asked him to. “Meddling bastard.” She mutters. She supposes that title could be given to Dan, too.

“I’m gonna fucking kill him.” Nathan swears under his breath, rubbing the side of his face before clenching his fists. “Haley, I don’t want an annulment. I don’t want a divorce. I just want you.”

She shakes her head, sniffling. “We’ve already hurt each other so much. Why should we even try?”

“Because I love you.” He says, and the look in his eyes tells her he’s being genuine. It’s filled with love and yeah, there’s some pain in there that she knows comes from the mistakes made on her part, but he _loves_ her. “When you first left, you gave me the time I needed to be angry and then I came back to you. And yeah, I pushed you away again, but that’s not going to happen this time. Now, I’m giving you the time you need to be angry and then you’re gonna come back to me. I’m going to be waiting right here for you because I’m not going anywhere, Hales.”

He gives her one last look, one that pleads with her to believe his words and then he’s gone, walking up the beach, his hands still clenched into fists at his sides. She thinks the beach has got to be some sort of symbol for them. She married him there and he just fought to save that marriage on it.

  
She won’t say it out loud - she even shushes herself when she _thinks_ it - but she believes him. Every word.


	2. we're not lovers. but we're not strangers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan reels off the news that his father and his brother are meddling in his relationship, weirdly coerces Brooke and Peyton into being his Haley-Spy, and tries (fails) to further a conversation with his wife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from "More" by 5 Seconds of Summer
> 
> Chapter Title from "Strangers" by Halsey & Lauren Jauregui
> 
> Happy 17 years of One Tree Hill!!

The second he walks away from Haley, all the anger he felt when he realized his father was meddling returns. He’d pushed it down for her sake, because he needed to make sure she knew just how much he loves her and that he’s going to fight for their marriage, but the thought of his father just showing up on tour and pretending that Nathan was done with her and wanted an _annulment_ of all things, pissed Nathan off to no end. If his father had gotten his hands on those signed papers, the ring Nate wears around his finger would mean nothing and his wife would’ve already slipped through his fingers. It’s messed up to say it, but as long as he and Haley are still technically married, he’s got a shot at keeping them together and making up for his mistakes.

He loves her. Not only that, but he still _wants_ her, in every way.

Even so, he can’t help the ache in his heart when he thinks of those papers, her signature sprawled on them. She had a good reason to sign them; it makes sense that she just wanted to give him what she thought he wanted, but there’s a part of him that’s a little angry that she just… _signed_ them.

He spots Lucas out of the corner of his eye and changes directions, making his way over to him. Truthfully, they haven’t talked much lately. Nate’s sure Lucas is pissed over something but he hasn’t told him what and Nathan’s been distant anyway so it’s never come up. He drags Luke away from the group he’s talking to so that it’s just the two of them and asks, “Did you know Haley signed annulment papers?”

Luke immediately gets pissed off, crossing his arms. “I’m not giving you them.”

“Wait a minute.” He says, confused. “You have them?”

“Yeah, and you’re not getting them.”

Nathan can’t help the laugh that escapes him. Thank God for Luke and his nosy nature. “Luke, I never got any annulment papers. My dad showed up on tour and told her I signed them but he must have forged my signature.”

One look at Lucas and he can tell he feels the same rage Nate does. It makes sense that he’d be pissed off at Dan screwing with their lives once again, especially after what he just pulled with Keith. “What?”

“Yeah, I know. I’m about to go kick his ass for it. Haley’s really broken up about it, among other things.”

Lucas snorts, nodding. “Great. She’s called you an asshole to your face so I have free reign.”

Nate gives him a look that screams ‘shut up’ and tilts his head to the side, gesturing for Lucas to walk with him, which he does. “Look, you have to shred those papers. They’re illegitimate anyway but you know my dad, he’s probably got a way to cheat the system. God, this is the only time I’m actually grateful for your meddling.”

“My meddling?” Luke questions, making Nathan laugh.

“You didn’t give me those papers because you were trying to save Haley and I’s marriage, right? You’re a meddler, Luke. It’s what you do.” Nathan smiles, getting in the driver’s side of his car and turning it on, Luke getting in beside him. “I just don’t get why, man. I know you’re pissed at me and I guess that was part of the reason why.”

“I’m pissed at you for a lot more than that, Nathan.” Luke looks over at him, as if to convey his seriousness. “Look, you’re my brother and I got your back, but part of having your back is telling you when you’re wrong so that I can push you to be the type of guy I know you can be. Everything with Haley is _so_ messed up, man. I was so pissed at her at first but then I realized that you didn’t really give anyone the full story, did you?”

Nathan just keeps his eyes on the road. It’s true, he never told anyone what really happened the night she left, but that was mostly because he was ashamed. He walked the boardwalk that night and realized that with the way he acted, there was no way Haley wouldn’t choose the tour over him and so he ran home to try to stop her. He was prepared to tell her that he loved her and he’d go with her or they’d figure something out and that he was sorry for what he’d said, but she was already gone. Then all he felt was total guilt and responsibility. He was the reason she left, he knows that. There are times when his insecurities creep in and he thinks that she left because he wasn’t good enough or because Chris understood her in a way he never could, but really, that’s not who Haley is.

Luke sighs for a moment before continuing. “Nate, I promise I’ve got your back, but I’m also the only one who’s got Haley’s right now. Except for maybe, Chris.”  
  


Nathan’s head snaps to look at him then and he can’t mask the fear that strikes his features. “Chris is here?”

Luke cringes, clenching his fist. “I guess the two of you didn’t really talk details.”

Nathan sighs sadly, looking forward again. “No, it was mostly just her crying and me yelling.”

“Haley got a record deal.” Luke says and Nathan’s heart swells with pride. She fucking did it! She’s actually going to be able to make a career out of her music! “The label’s letting her finish her senior year here while she records the album. Chris is staying to help; she said something about co-producing or something.”

Nathan lets out a breath. He doesn’t love the idea of Chris hypothetically being in the way while he tries to win his wife back, but he knows that’s just the fear talking and the part of him that’s happy for her is grateful that she’s getting somewhere with her music and if Chris Keller is the way to do that, then Nathan has to push down whatever feelings he has for the guy and be supportive. Haley’s never going to give him a chance if he starts acting the way he did just before she left.

There is a part of him that knows he was right, though. He had a feeling that Chris didn’t actually care about Haley’s music and just wanted to get in her pants. Whether Chris gives a shit about her music or not, he took advantage of her time and tried to pursue a romantic relationship with her, even though Nathan warned him against it. He shouldn’t be so proud that he was right, especially because it was Haley that got hurt, but it makes him feel a smidge less guilty for being so aggressive towards the guy.

He knows he’s got anger problems and he’s stubborn and he can be a little possessive, but he’s realized over the past few months that their relationship problems had been there since the beginning; they’d just come to a head at the wrong time. It was his fear of losing his wife, the only family he really has, that ended up pushing her away and now that he understands that, he knows that the second they get back together, he’s got to get a place where he’s secure that they’re not gonna fall apart again, otherwise she’ll just walk straight out the door because he’s trying to keep her locked in.

When they reach the beach house, his pride over his wife’s recent accomplishment is replaced with his previous rage. He finally understands why Lucas was so desperate to take him down in Junior year; he’s messed with too many people’s lives and he’s not about to convince Nathan’s wife to leave him. Lucas follows him up the steps to the house, Nate striding in to see his parents in the kitchen, looking to be in the middle of an argument. His father starts to say, “Oh, look. It’s the Scott boys.” but Nathan grabs him by the shirt and pins him against the wall as Deb gasps, taking a step back and looking to Lucas, whose face is stone cold, showing no sympathy.

“Did you give my wife annulment papers?” Nathan seethes, glaring at the man who just shoves him off, fixing his shirt.

“Please, Nathan. You two were never going to last.” Dan says nonchalantly, not caring at all that Nathan’s so pissed off. Lucas grabs his brother’s arm, just to make sure Nathan doesn’t fucking kill him - although, Luke wouldn’t ordinarily mind - and surprisingly, Nathan stays back beside him. 

“You know what? _This_ is what’s not going to last. From now on, I’m not a part of this family and you’re not a part of mine. You stay away from me, my friends and my wife and maybe, I’ll restrain myself from knocking you out.” Nathan’s tone is definitive, indicating that there’s no way for either of them to change his mind; Dan’s gone too far this time. 

Deb rounds the counter, extending her hands to Nathan’s arms, but he just pulls back. “Honey, where will you go?”

Nathan knows he doesn’t exactly have anywhere to live, but he’s fine sleeping in his car as long as he’s away from his shitshow of a family, which is what he’s about to say until Lucas jumps in before he gets the chance. “With me.” He says, then turns to Nate. “Go get your stuff.”

Nathan nods quickly, exiting the kitchen, only hearing his mother say, “Nice work, Dan.” before he’s up the stairs, packing as much as he can into a duffel. He runs back down and then walks out the door, stopping once he’s out and turning around to look at them just as Luke steps outside, making his way to the car. “Stay away from Haley.” Nate says. “I mean it.”

Once they’re out of the driveway, Lucas lets out a sigh, glancing over at Nathan. “Look, my mom’s not going to mind you staying with us for as long as you need, but you _have_ to stop the whole asshole act.”

Nathan nods, eyes trained on the road. “Listen, I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting recently. I have been an asshole _and_ I’ve pushed you away. I shouldn’t have done that. You’re a good brother.”

Lucas smiles at that, nodding in acceptance and then lets out a breath. “So, how bad is it with Hales?”

Nathan groans, throwing his head back. “Worse than it’s ever been. I fucked up, Luke. There was this thing with Taylor…” He starts reluctantly, but is cut off when Luke scoffs.

“Yeah, I’ve been waiting to punch you in the face for months now.”

Nathan frowns, looking over at him. “You knew about that?”

Luke runs a hand through his hair and nods. “Don’t be pissed, but I went to see Haley at the end of the school year. Me and Brooke. That’s when she gave me the papers. What the hell were you thinking, man?”

“Short answer is, I wasn’t.” Nathan says dejectedly. “I went to go see her after the wedding and I told her I’d do whatever she wanted me to, but she started talking about how things had changed and she wasn’t the girl I married and it freaked me out. I thought she was done so I left and then Taylor called and it just got… messy.”  
  


“You’re damn right, it’s messy!” Luke snaps, shaking his head at him in disappointment. “You can’t even be pissed about the Chris thing anymore, this is worse. You did it to get back at her.”

“She kissed Chris first!”

“But she wasn’t trying to hurt you! She never did.”

Nate sinks further into the seat, wishing Lucas would just stop talking about it. The wounds Haley left him aren’t just going to go away, no matter how much of a right she has to be angry with him, too. She made mistakes, too. Mistakes that led Nathan down a dark hole he’d only just climbed his way out of. He can push his hurt down as much as he can, so that he can get her to see the man he was before all this; before he got a bad feeling about Chris and took matters into his own hands, before he gave her a stupid ultimatum and shoved her out the door, before he became the type of guy he worked so hard not to be so that he could grow into someone who deserved her. He’ll pretend she didn’t hurt him for as long as he has to if that’ll make her see that they still belong together, despite the heartache they’ve caused. They’re not broken, just bent.

But that doesn’t mean his nights aren’t spent reliving the pain he felt over the first few weeks. He thought she’d come back at first until he finally realized the mistakes he made and started feeling guilty. It was easy to assume she was with Chris and while it hurt, a part of him didn’t blame her. Chris didn’t hurt her or yell at her the way he did. Haley deserved better. 

It’s those same insecurities that makes him wonder if he should just let her go so that she can find someone to be with who makes life easier instead of harder. Someone that can understand what music means to her and that doesn’t make as many dumb mistakes as Nathan does. He’d told her at the beginning that he wasn’t good at the whole ‘being a good guy’ thing, but that’s not enough anymore. Not an excuse. 

At the root of his being he’s a selfish guy. He loves her and so he should want what’s best for her even if it’s not him, but it’s because he loves her that he just can’t seem to let her go. She’s all he has and all he’ll ever want and so he’s selfish about it. He tells himself that he’ll do whatever he has to and he’ll be back together with his wife by Christmas. He can’t tell her that, though. He has to take this slow, ease back into being the guy she loves and saw the best in. 

He doesn’t see her as much as he’d like to on the first day of school. Lucas tells him on the way that her and Chris have a house together and Brooke just moved in, since it’d be hard for her to pay for her own place just based on the money her parents send her. He lets Lucas chat away about the whole ‘non-exclusive’ thing he’s got going on with Brooke and tries to pay attention. Nate thinks it’s just a dumb way of playing hard-to-get, but there’s certain similarities between his brother’s situation and his. He doesn’t know the full Peyton-Lucas-Brooke story and what he does know is just from Haley, but apparently Brooke was really hurt the last time and so it doesn’t surprise Nathan that she’s not ready to open herself up to Lucas, no matter how much she might want to. That’s what Nathan did everytime Haley called and he tried to keep her at arm’s length. 

When he does see Haley, it’s brief and she’s walking arm-in-arm with Peyton and Brooke, the scene similar to something he would’ve seen before the tour. Lucas’ comment about him being the only one in Haley’s corner had worried Nate, but he’s grateful to see that she still has Brooke and Peyton as friends. They’re turned down the hall before he can say anything and he doesn’t see her again. He hears rumours throughout the day about some fight between her and some other girls he doesn’t really talk to and he’s a little surprised, although he’s grateful he’s now got a reason to go see her. He looks for her in the brief five minutes he has after the final bell before he’s got practice and finds her outside the school, climbing into a car with Chris.

He’s totally distracted during practice and both Lucas and Whitey call him on it. He’s thinking about Haley and Chris’ car and Haley _in_ Chris’ car and wondering where they’re going and if they’re hanging out just the two of them. Whitey tells him to take a breather and he walks over to where the cheerleaders are practicing, Brooke and Bevin stretching together on the floor. He kneels down beside Brooke, clasping his hands together nervously and she scoffs, sitting up.

“Let me guess. You’re here to ask me about a little someone called Haley James?”

Nathan frowns at the name. “It’s Haley Scott.” Brooke smiles at that, catching her mistake. “And I just want to know how she is, alright? I’m worried about her.”

Brooke laughs dryly. “ _Now_ you’re worried about her. That is hilarious, Scott-Brother-Number-Two.”

He can infer that the new nickname she’s given him means Lucas is currently her favourite of the two of them. “Brooke, my wife is ignoring me, my brother has almost kicked my ass numerous times and I’m currently crashing on his bedroom floor. I’m getting enough shit from everyone else for the Taylor thing, I don’t need it from you.”

Brooke raises her eyebrows at him, crossing her arms in front of her. “Oh, I’m not mad at you for the Taylor thing, although as Haley’s friend and now roommate, I totally should be. I’m mad at you because for months, you had me believing that Haley went off on tour to have sex with another guy. I thought the girl I’d grown so fond of wasn’t actually who I thought she was when really, the person who’s not who I thought they were was you.”

“Yeah, that’s already on my list of mistakes.” Nathan sighs, sparing a glance towards Lucas and the team, running suicides. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t tell anyone what happened in the beginning because I wasn’t ready to deal with it and I realize now that wasn’t fair to you or to any one of Haley’s friends. I’m sorry, Brooke.”

She presses her lips together, sighing before running a hand through her hair. “As far as apologies go, that was pretty good, so I’m going to do you a favour. How about after practice, you walk me home and _maybe_ get a glance at Haley through our front door. But, you have to promise not to interact with her. With the way things are right now, that might just make your situation worse. She still needs time.”

He nods quickly. He’ll take what he can get. “That’s a deal.”

He does considerably better when he goes back to practice, his mind no longer racing and he’s able to focus on the game for the first time since High Flyers. After he’s showered and changed, he finds Brooke leaning against the outside of the school with Peyton, chatting. He walks over, duffel slung over his shoulder and Brooke stands up right, hand on Peyton’s arm. “Well, buddy. I’ll see you tomorrow. Nate’s walking me home.”

Peyton sends him a knowing look and nudges his side just as Lucas walks out of the school. “Of course he is.”

“Hey.” Lucas says when he’s close enough. “You guys wanna do something tonight?”

“Can’t.” Brooke responds, barely looking him in the eye. “Nathan, you ready to go?”  
  


Nate just nods, sending a last glance to his two friends before following Brooke down the pathway. “So, not that I’m not grateful for what you’re doing but are you also using me to make Luke jealous?”

Brooke snorts, rolling her eyes. “Okay, I’ve been using a lot of guys to make Luke jealous recently, but don’t you think using his _brother_ is a little too far?”

Nathan raises his hands in faux surrender. “Just asking. Look, not that I’m an expert or anything, but I did the whole hard-to-get, prove-to-me-I-can-trust-you thing when Haley first left. It didn’t get me anywhere.”

“Lucas cheated on me, Nathan. And it wasn’t just a random confused kiss, it was an ongoing, sneaking off to kiss my best friend while I’m redecorating his room and then lying to my face about it, _thing_.”

“Yeah, but you and Luke were friends after that. Close friends. So whether you like it or not, he has a piece of your heart and he has the power to hurt you whether you’re dating exclusively or not.” He says, fully aware that it might not be something she’s ready to hear.

Brooke shakes her head, her cheeks going a little pink. “I thought tonight was supposed to be about you and Haley.”

“Well, it kinda relates to us, too.”

Brooke nods slowly, fidgeting with her hands. “Look, you might be right about me and Luke, but I don’t think it’s nearly that simple for you and Hales. Her needing time isn’t just about what happened between the two of you. It’s about Haley and about who she is and her dream… I mean, the music thing’s really taking off and she has to decide if she’s going to be the person that goes after what she wants. I think she’s scared you’re going to ask her to choose and she doesn’t want to have to choose music again but she can’t give it up, you know?”

“Well, when she figures out what type of person she’s going to be, it’s a good thing I’ll be here waiting.”

Brooke lets out a laugh as they reach the house, her pulling out her keys and leading him up the driveway. “You’re pretty optimistic for a guy who couldn’t get out of bed three months ago.” She climbs the front steps and points towards the driveway as she puts her key in the lock. “Doesn’t look like they’re back. Chris’ car isn’t here. Do you want to come in for a while? We could order a pizza or something. I could use the company and you could see your wife on your way out.”

Nathan smiles, nodding and lets her lead him inside, taking a look at the place. “It’s nice in here.” He says, dropping his duffel beside hers on the floor and she smiles at him.

“Thanks. Peyton did the mural, the rest of the decorating choices were pretty much mine. Chris and Hales added some of the photos though.” She swings open their fridge and grabs him a beer, giving him the opportunity to analyze the photos stuck to the door. A few of Lucas and Haley, some of the three girls, some of Jake… and one of Haley, a twinkly crown placed on her head a little lopsided, an electric grin right across her face, a purple-y tinge lighting up the group of people behind her, though their faces aren’t visible. Brooke hands him a bottle with a knowing smile on her face as she types a few numbers into her phone. “Try not to look so lovesick while I call for pizza.”

He snaps open the bottle and sort of half-glares at her as they both make their way back to the living room, Brooke putting on MTV in the background as she proceeds to ask him why guys are such idiots all the time. He doesn’t really have an answer for her, so he just listens. By the time Haley arrives home, their pizza box is long discarded on the coffee table and Chris trails in behind her, his eyes going a little wide at the sight of Nathan. He raises his hands in faux surrender, laughing nervously. “Alright, you can’t beat me up in my own house. That’s not fair.”

Nathan looks down sheepishly as Brooke gets up off the couch, wringing her hands together. “Uh, Nathan was just leaving.”

Haley shrugs nonchalantly, although everyone can feel the awkwardness in the air. “Don’t leave on my account. I’m going to bed anyway.” She says, stealing the pizza crust off Brooke’s plate and leaving the room immediately.

The deal was technically that Nathan could see her but he wasn’t allowed to converse with her, but he at least thought they’d exchange a ‘hello’ or a small smile. Something, at least.

He spends the entire night tossing and turning over it. He still doesn’t have a bed at Lucas and Karen’s and the sofa isn’t helping his insomnia, so he mostly flicks through reruns and tries to shut his mind off, to no avail. He’s worried that Brooke took a risk by letting him come over and that Haley will be angry that she can’t even be at her own home without being forced to deal with their marriage and he realizes he’s been a bit selfish. It’s just so _hard_. He’s never been a patient person. 

He hears from Brooke the next day that Haley didn't say anything about it and he shouldn't be worried, so he just tries not to think about it and mostly hangs around Lucas all day, who’s trying to avoid Brooke for some reason, until Whitey gives him a random detention out of nowhere. He was in the hallway, right outside the class he was supposed to be in, only a few minutes late and he got a detention. Whitey’s caught him being a few minutes late about a million times before and never said anything about it, so Nathan’s downright confused until he walks into the detention room to see Haley already sitting there, hair falling down her left shoulder, scratching words down into her notebook. She glances up at him once, gives him a polite smile (one that says, _I’m not going to pretend you’re not here but you’re also the last person I want to talk to right now)_ and returns to her notes. He sits down a few seats apart from her and smiles when Whitey winks at him.

“You really knock out Sue Garvey’s front tooth?” Nathan says, about an hour in.

She lifts her head from off the desk, looking up at him in confusion. “What? Where did you hear that?”

He shrugs, smiling slightly. “It’s all over school.”

She scoffs, throwing her head back in annoyance. “Great. Add ‘bully’ to my resumé.” She groans. 

She’s silent for a minute and he takes it as his cue. “Well? Did you?”

She snorts out a laugh, looking more relaxed than he’s seen her around him since before she left. “No, but if I did, she would’ve deserved it. I don’t even know these people, I don’t understand why they hate me so much.”

“They don’t hate you, they hate that they’re _not_ you. General consensus around here when you were gone was that you were a badass. Some sort of inspiration, I guess.” He tries to sound as nonchalant as possible but truthfully, all the talk of Haley being a rockstar had sort of pissed him off back then. She doesn’t respond to his comment, just smiles like she acknowledges it and then stares ahead again, probably not sure what to say.

Her phone rings a few minutes later and he can hear her apologize for standing Chris up, which sort of puts him in a sour mood for the remaining twenty minutes of detention. He doesn’t get the chance to walk her out since she practically runs out the door and into the parking lot, but he does run into Peyton, who’d forgotten something in her locker earlier that day. “Detention? Have I been transported back to Junior year?” She says when they’re close enough.

He snorts, walking beside her to the parking lot. “No, Whitey’s trying to get Haley to talk to me. Figures if he locks us in a room together for long enough, the boredom will outweigh her stubbornness.”

“Has it worked?”

He shakes his head. “Not really. I mean, you know Haley. She’s too nice to be outright mean but I can tell she doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“Brooke might have a teensy solution for that.” Peyton grins cheekily. “Somehow she convinced Chris and Haley to let her host a classic Brooke Davis housewarming party and she even _begged_ Hales to let you come. Plus, we had cheerleading tryouts today and Brooke pretty much hated everyone who came by so she’s going to ask Haley to join the squad.”

Nathan frowns, thinking Haley will never go for that. “Haley missed like three months of school. Doesn’t she have to work twice as hard to even graduate this year? She’s got the whole record thing, too. When is she going to have time to cheerlead?”

Peyton shrugs, looking probably the happiest he’s seen her since Jake left. “I wouldn’t worry about it. You know how persuasive Brooke can be. Besides, stop with the anti-cheerleading act. If Haley’s on the squad, you’ll get to see her at practice and games and maybe even a few parties…”

“Okay, okay. I get it. I just don’t want her to lose sight of what’s important.”

Peyton rolls her eyes at him. “Nathan. This is our last year of high school and Haley’s last year to be an actual kid before she’s off selling records and touring the world. I think a few high school activities could be good for her. We don’t want her to get too lost in the music. She’s already grown up a little too fast, don’t you think?”

He can’t tell if she’s referring to their marriage or just simply the way Haley was raised - nine siblings, her being the youngest, absentee parents - but he supposes it could go either way. It’s true that Haley’s always been the mature and responsible one, he’s known that since the very beginning of their study sessions turned dates, but he’d never really thought about just how _adult_ she might’ve had to be on tour.

“Have you been talking to her about it?” He asks, kicking his feet. “The tour, I mean.”

Peyton nods, crossing her arms. “Yeah, a little bit. I know she loved it but there’s also a lot of pressure on her shoulders that comes with it, you know? I think that’s why she might be so reluctant to try and fix things with you. That girl’s plate is _completely_ full. I swear, I’ve never seen her head so jumbled.”

He feels a small rush of relief flood through him. It’s not like Haley to hold a grudge or not put in any effort and so it sort of reassures him that where they are right now isn’t entirely because of him and his mistakes. She’s busy. He can handle that. He is worried about her, though. He knows her, even after all this time and he’d be more than surprised if she doesn’t take on more than she can handle only to crash a few weeks later.

Peyton gives him a ride home so he doesn’t have to wait on Lucas giving him a ride (Nathan told him he could use the car as a sort of repayment for letting him stay at Karen’s and he sometimes thinks about how they used to be before all this, before _Haley_ ) and when he gets home, there’s a flyer on Lucas’ door, presumably placed there by Brooke with art done by Peyton, that reads _The Davis-Keller-Scott Housewarming Jamboree, Friday the fourteenth. Bring a swimsuit!_

  
He smiles a little at the name. _Scott._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a comment/kudos if you liked it!
> 
> Happy 17 years of One Tree Hill!!

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "More" by 5 Seconds of Summer
> 
> please leave a comment/kudos if you liked it :)
> 
> more chapters coming soon!


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